I’ve had to re-evaluate a few aspects of my life. Recognizing what relationships are good for me, and establishing healthy boundaries. Yup! I did a relationship autopsy! This includes family and friends. I realized I had some toxic friendships I had to let go of. Something I’ve had to do is remove toxic people and relationships from my life. I’ve worked hard to become the best possible version of myself, so I need the RIGHT friends in my life. Cultivating healthy friendships is really the only way to do that.
So what are the signs of a toxic friendship?
Letting go of toxic friendships isn’t a simple task. It doesn’t just stem from one incident. It’s something that you’ve probably been thinking about for a while. If you are anything like me then you have probably been wondering how you can fix it, possibly even ignore it. What do you do when you are past that point? More importantly, how do you know?
Toxic friendships makes it hard to share them
Have you ever had a situation and you wanted to share it with a friend but you knew that person would be “judgey?” yeah, that is No Bueno! That kind of behavior usually results in mom bashing. I once read something that said: “the people who constantly critique your parenting style, under the guise of ‘meaning-well’, simply want to change how you parent because it would make THEM feel better.” I got to a point where I just had to stop telling that person anything because I didn’t want to hear her mouth. But honestly, what kind of friendship is that? I dealt with postpartum depression after I had my son, and I didn’t tell anyone. It’s a horrible feeling to be suffering in silence because you don’t have anyone you can trust enough to tell.
A toxic friend always makes you feel disrespected
I cherish my friends. To me, they are my family. So I always treat them with the respect they deserve. It really grinds my gears when I’m being respectful to a person and they disrespect me. I’m not a sensitive person by any means however it is very hurtful. If I am talking to a person, especially a friend, and they are constantly belittling me or talking to me in a condescending tone then I am done. I don’t deal with disrespect on any level.
You’ve grown apart
Sometimes friends grow up and grow apart. It’s not always a bad thing. If a friendship has run its course don’t hang on to them just because you’ve gotten comfortable in the situation. A lot of times we give people passes for their behavior because they have always been that way. However, that doesn’t make it okay.
Ending toxic friendships can be as painful as breaking up with a significant other. However, like any relationship there is only so much you can do and give of yourself before you have to say enough is enough. Friendships are supposed to be enjoyable and good for us. If you have gotten to a point where the negative interactions outweigh the positive then you might need to move on.
Toxic friendships can cause trauma
As adults, there are certain things that we wouldn’t expect to deal with. Having to deal with negative people will not only bring you down but it will affect your sense of self-worth. And, it will ultimately affect your self-esteem. I have worked really hard to focus on living my best life. There is nothing worse than having a friend who makes you feel emotionally drained when you leave them. We shouldn’t give anyone this much control over our feelings. More importantly, no one ever talks about the damage that’s caused after the friendship is over. The mental toll it can take on you and how you interact with other friends afterward.
Are there any other signs that might make you break up with a friend? Sound off below! And if you like what you read please share!
LOVED THIS POST!! I’m currently in the process of evaluating my friendships and I’m at the point where, if you can’t support me and my endeavors whole heartedly then we just can’t be friends. I don’t have time to constantly to second guess myself and bite my tongue just bc others don’t agree with my parenting style. We don’t have time for that type of negativity in 2018.
EXACTLY!!! We are out here trying to live our best lives.
I think I’m lucky to be at a point now where I’m only friends with the people I truly love, but I’ve definitely had friendships that haven’t been the best in the best and i’ve definitely had to break some of them.
Aleeha xXx
http://www.halesaaw.co.uk/
This is so true. People think you always have to keep friends forever. Sometimes that’s not true. Thanks for sharing!
This Is so important, it’s really tough to break up with friends.
So sad but true, sometimes you just have to end a friendship. I have found that especially after becoming a mom, you realize you have a lot different values than some of your friends. It makes hanging out almost awkward and forced. In those situations, it’s best to just break up and move on.
After being a mom, it made me realize that where I was, was not the same place as some of my friends. It hurt, but I knew the best thing for me and my family was to let some of those friendships go. I cherish the years of memories and will always wish them well, even tho they are no longer in my life.
Breaking up with friends is way harder for me than it should be.