I have decided that my word for the year is “self-care.” Self-care means something different to everybody. For me it’s about taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. I allowed someone to make me so mad the other day my head started hurting. I was then angry for allowing this person that much control over my energy. I had to take a minute and tell myself “hold up! You don’t have to deal with this foolishness!” and just like that I cut them off. Yes that easy. Old me wouldn’t have been able to do that. But new Kisha does not have time for people who jeopardize my sanity. My mind, body, or spirit. MY SELF-CARE.
The best way for me to care for my son is by first caring for myself. Self-care is provided for you, by you. So if you don’t do what’s best for yourself then who will? I had to first identify all of the things that make me happy, and those that don’t. What conclusion did I come to? That there are certain behaviors I will not tolerate from anyone, including family! Yes family, because sometimes those closest to us are the ones who do the most harm. This stress in turn affects the body, mind, and spirit.
I know I just told you that sometimes breaking up with friends is necessary. That was just the beginning though because you should be practicing self-care in all relationships. It’s a common misconception that just because someone is related to you that means you have to put up with their poor behavior. However I have a new family to think about. My husband and my son, and how they are also being affected.
Verbal or physical abuse
Do you want better for yourself? Do you want people to treat you how you deserve? Then don’t accept anything less. Time magazine had an article about “Bullying in the Family.” It’s often looked at as normal behavior but can have lasting mental effects. I’ve often heard people say how every family has problems. They even embrace family dysfunction. However there is nothing wrong with detaching yourself from toxic people.
I’m not out here trying to sound like an old Mary J. Blige record or anything. However certain cycles need to end. Nobody has time for drama. Learn to identify what roles certain people play in your life and what you play in theirs. Society has trained us to believe we are bad people if we decide to disassociate ourselves from family members, because well they are family. Let’s just be honest though, we wouldn’t hang out with half of them if they weren’t related to us.
Please hear me when I say I am living my best life now and I refuse to allow anything to jeopardize that. For so long I’ve allowed the negative behavior of others to affect me. But I’m “reclaiming my life!” No more sacrificing my mental or emotional health. It’s an act of self-care to surround yourself with people who love and respect you, who positively impact you.
Is self care important to you? What are you doing, if anything, for your self care this year?
Until Next Time!