Before anyone jumps to any conclusions let me start by saying “I AM NOT PREGNANT.” Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m here to do for you what nobody did for me. I am here to warn you! My kids are now 3 and 6 so it’s been a few years since I was pregnant, but I remember it vividly because it was the hardest 8-9 months of my life. I know most people only tell you how wonderful pregnancy is because they feel like you shouldn’t be complaining. But hopefully, you’ve been here long enough to know I’m going to keep it real with you. And that includes telling you all of the gross pregnancy symptoms you are going to experience.
Why Do I Feel So Gross In My Pregnancy?
Uncontrollable Gas
Gas is natural, it’s common. Everyone farts. Have you ever smelled a pregnant fart though? I swear it’s so bad even I get embarrassed. I can’t hold it in either, because it’s harder to control now. My husband swears my farts have always been bad, but this is seriously next level. Pregnancy tends to slow down your gastrointestinal tract because of all the extra progesterone in your system. Your growing uterus doesn’t do anything to help either.
Constipation
As your food digests during pregnancy, your bowel muscles slow down their motions in order to take all the nutrients they possibly can for your growing baby. This is a result of the extra progesterone in your system, meant to make things easier for delivery. Do you know how uncomfortable it is when you have to drop a deuce but nothing happens? It makes me feel extra bloated.
Hemorrhoids
I’ve never had hemorrhoids and I really hope I don’t have to experience it either. I’ve read that they don’t generally become a problem until the second and third trimesters. However, I’ve been experiencing constipation this time around and I know sometimes this can be a cause. Over half of pregnant women experience hemorrhoids because of their uterus pressing down on veins in the rectum. Eww right?
Nose bleeds
This is new for me because I didn’t get them with Santana. However here lately I have been getting them quite often. Initially, I thought it was because Santana’s head-butted me and my nose was broken or something. During your first trimester, the amount of blood circulating in your body increases and your heart works harder. This means that the lining of your nasal passage (inside your nose) also receives more blood. You have tiny blood vessels inside your nose so the increased blood volume can sometimes damage those blood vessels and cause them to burst, resulting in a nosebleed. Changes in your hormones during pregnancy can also contribute to nosebleeds.
Skin tags
These are annoying. I got quite a few of them with Santana in weird spots. I made the mistake once and tried to pull it off. Yes I know, I know. Needless to say, it didn’t work, and it hurt so bad.
Vaginal swelling after c-section
Listen not one person told me that my vagina was going to swell! Not my friends, not even the doctor. To say I was freaked out is an understatement. I have literally never seen my vagina this swollen in life. I know this is probably something most people won’t discuss. Plus it’s gross. But I’m trying to help ya’ll out! I guess I was being naive when I thought my vagina would be safe since nothing was coming out of it.
Gross pregnancy symptoms cannot be avoided, because it’s all normal
I really hope I didn’t scare any of you if you are expecting or hoping to get pregnant. Maybe some of you have also experienced some of these things so you can relate. In the end, I have two beautiful boys. Now I am just trying to get accustomed to everything that happens post-baby. Of course, that’s an entirely new set of challenges. I talked a little bit about it here.
I know there are plenty of things I am leaving out. And I would love to hear your stories as well, the good and the bad!
Leave a Reply