Something I’ve had to work on since having Santana is “self-care.” For those that aren’t too familiar with the term self care it is exactly what it sounds like, care for oneself without the help of a medical professional. This includes but is not limited to physical as well as mental. In doing this I’ve had to evaluate a few aspects of my life. Something I’ve had to do is remove toxic people and relationships from my life. I know I just did a post about “finding my mom tribe” so you are probably thinking “why would she be removing friends when she’s trying to make them?” It’s simple I need the RIGHT friends in my life. So breaking up with friends was something I had to do for my happiness.
Breaking up with friends isn’t a simple task. It doesn’t just stem from one incident. It’s something that you’ve probably been thinking about for awhile. If you are anything like me then you have probably been wondering how you can fix it, possibly even ignore it. What do you do when you are past that point? More importantly how do you know?
It effects your self-esteem
As adults there are certain things that we wouldn’t expect to deal with. Having to deal with negative people will not only bring you down but it will affect your sense of self-worth. I have worked really hard to focus on living my best life. There is nothing worse than having a friend who makes you feel emotionally drained when you leave them. We shouldn’t give anyone this much control over our feelings.
You can’t share with them anymore
Have you ever had a situation and you wanted to share it with a friend but you knew that person would be “judgey?” yeah, that is No Bueno! That kind of behavior usually results in mom bashing. Kermilia over at themillennialsahm described it perfectly when she said “the people who constantly critique your parenting style, under the guise of ‘meaning-well’, simply want to change how you parent because it would make THEM feel better.” I got to a point where I just had to stop telling that person anything because I didn’t want to hear her mouth. But honestly, what kind of friendship is that? I dealt with postpartum depression after I had my son, and I didn’t tell anyone. It’s a horrible feeling to be suffering in silence because you don’t have anyone you can trust enough to tell.
You always feel disrespected
I cherish my friends. To me they are my family. So I always treat them with the respect they deserve. It really grinds my gears when I’m being respectful to a person and they disrespect me. I’m not a sensitive person by any means however it is very hurtful. If I am talking to a person, especially a friend, and they are constantly belittling me or talking to me in a condescending tone then I am done. I don’t deal with disrespect on any level.
You’ve grown apart
Sometimes friends grow up and grow apart. It’s not always a bad thing. If a friendship has run its course don’t hang on to them just because you’ve gotten comfortable in the situation. A lot of times we give people passes for their behavior because they have always been that way. However that doesn’t make it okay.
Breaking up with friends can be as painful as breaking up with a significant other. However like any relationship there is only so much you can do and give of yourself before you have to say enough is enough. Friendships are supposed to be enjoyable and good for us. If you have gotten to a point where the negative interactions outweigh the positive then you might need to move on.
Are there any other signs that might make you break up with a friend? If you like what you read please share!
Until Next Time!