“Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival.”
For me, as a neurodivergent Black mom raising two amazing neurodivergent kids, self-care has become more than just a bubble bath and spa days (although those are nice, too!). It’s about finding sustainable habits that help me show up fully for myself and my family. Between managing sensory overload, battling mom guilt, and navigating a world that isn’t always built for us. I’ve learned (the hard way!) that taking care of ourselves has to be non-negotiable. Here’s how I’m prioritizing self-care in the New Year and why you should too!
As we step into 2025, I’ve been reflecting on my journey as a neurodivergent Black mama. And let me tell you – self-care isn’t just a luxury, it’s absolutely essential for our survival and emotional well-being.
Why Traditional Self-Care Advice Doesn’t Always Work for Us
Let’s have an honest conversation about why those Pinterest-perfect self-care routines often leave us feeling more frustrated than fulfilled. As a neurodivergent Black mama, I’ve learned that mainstream self-care advice often misses the mark for our unique experiences.
The “Just Meditate” Myth
For neurodivergent brains, traditional meditation can feel overwhelming instead of soothing:
- Every sound in the house feels magnified.
- Overthinking past moments takes over.
- Textures can be overstimulating.
- Executive dysfunction makes consistent practice nearly impossible.
The Social Self-Care Stigma
As Black women, we’re often told to be strong, self-sacrificing, and always “on.” This pressure clashes with self-care goals, creating guilt for prioritizing alone time or mental health care.
- The pressure to be “twice as good” while making it look effortless
- Generational trauma around putting ourselves first
- The misconception that needing self-care means we’re not “strong enough”
New Year Self-Care Tips, That Work!
Create a Sensory Safety Kit
This kit can go a long way in managing meltdowns or overstimulation during the holiday season: Here’s what’s in my emergency kit:
– Noise-canceling headphones
– Stim toys that bring me joy
– A soft, weighted scarf
– Peppermint essential oil for grounding
Pro Tip: Keep a mini version in your purse and car. Trust me, you’ll thank me later!
Build a “No” Vocabulary
As Black women, we’re often expected to be superheroes. As neurodivergent mamas, this expectation can be crushing. I’ve developed phrases that work for me:
– “That doesn’t work for my sensory needs right now”
– “I need to protect my energy for my family”
– “I’ll have to pass this time to maintain my mental health”
Create Calm Spaces
Every mama needs a sanctuary! Create a low-sensory space that supports positive thinking and relaxation. Use neutral colors, dim lighting, and clutter-free surfaces for a calming environment. It’s a simple way to prioritize self-care. In my home:
– I’ve designated a low-sensory corner in my bedroom
– Used neutral colors that don’t overwhelm
– Installed dimmer switches
– Kept surfaces clutter-free (working on this one, y’all!)
Movement That Makes Sense
Forget what you’ve heard about “proper exercise.” Find what works for you. Movement is a form of self-care, but it doesn’t have to look traditional. Try dancing in the kitchen, stretching during TV time, or swimming for sensory regulation. New ways of moving can have a big impact on daily life.
Action Tip: Find physical activities that make you feel good rather than focusing on metrics.
Digital Boundaries for Mental Peace
Limiting screen time and filtering content are self-care strategies that help protect mental health during this time of the year. Setting small boundaries is the first step toward a balanced digital routine.
– Set specific times to check social media
– Create custom lists to filter content
– Mute triggering keywords
Practice Radical Self-Compassion
Celebrate small wins, embrace your differences, and release comparison to others. Positive thinking starts with accepting yourself fully. This is the foundation of everything:
– Acknowledge your unique challenges
– Release comparison to neurotypical standards
– Remember: You’re doing your best, and that’s enough
Giving Myself Permission to Rest
Y’all, this one was HARD to learn, but it’s been life-changing. As Black women, we’re often taught that rest is lazy, but:
- Rest is productive (yes, really!)
- My worth isn’t tied to my productivity
- Sometimes saying “no” is an act of self-preservation
- Naps are not just for toddlers
Pro Tip: I keep a “rest without guilt” sticky note on my mirror as a daily reminder that I deserve to recharge. Schedule it in even if its just 15 minutes.
Embracing My Neurodivergence
Some days, my brain feels like it’s running on a hundred tabs, and other days, it’s like a dial-up connection. I’ve stopped trying to force myself into neurotypical routines and embraced what works for me. Whether it’s stimming, journaling, or using assistive tools like timers and apps. My new daily routine now consists of:
- I celebrate my unique way of thinking
- Allow myself to stim freely at home
- Use my “weird” organizational systems that actually work for my brain
- Share my neurodivergent journey with my kids so they know it’s okay to be different
Action Tip: Use tools like habit trackers or apps to accommodate your unique needs.
Prioritizing Therapy
Therapy has been a lifeline for me, helping me unpack generational trauma and navigate the challenges of parenting neurodivergent kids. In 2025, I’m committed to keeping this space sacred.
- I commit to monthly sessions (even when things feel “fine”)
- Use virtual therapy options when leaving the house is too much
- Found a Black therapist who gets cultural nuances
- Practice the tools I learn between sessions
Leaning on My Village
Remember what our grandmas always said about it taking a village? I used to think asking for help made me weak, but now I see it as a form of strength. My husband, friends, and support network are vital to my well-being. Leaning on them has taught me I don’t have to do it all alone. Self care routine:
- I’ve built a network of other neurodivergent moms
- Set up regular childcare swaps with trusted friends
- Join virtual support groups
- Accept help when it’s offered (this is still a work in progress!)
Action Tip: Build and nurture a support system you can rely on.
Journaling My Wins and Challenges
This isn’t your typical “dear diary” situation. Writing is a form of therapy for me. Whether it’s jotting down my thoughts or celebrating small victories, journaling helps me stay grounded and reflective. My neurodivergent-friendly journal practice includes:
- Voice notes when writing feels overwhelming
- Bullet points instead of long paragraphs
- Photos of good moments
Action Tip: Dedicate 5-10 minutes a day to writing down what you’re grateful for or processing your emotions.
What Are Small Acts of Self-Care?
- Understanding that stimming is self-care
- Accepting that sometimes self-care means canceling plans
- Recognizing that our energy limits are different and valid
- Embracing that our self-care might look “weird” to others
- Acknowledging that rest is a form of resistance in a world that wasn’t built for us
My Personal Implementation Strategy
1. Choose one habit to focus on for 2-3 weeks
2. Break it down into tiny, manageable steps
3. Track what works and what doesn’t
4. Adjust as needed (because flexibility is key!)
Remember, implementing all these habits at once would be overwhelming. Start with one that resonates most with you. Maybe it’s creating your sensory kit or setting one digital boundary. Progress over perfection, always.
Embrace Your Fresh Start
This is the perfect time to focus on self-care strategies that honor your identity and unique needs. Remember: you are worthy of care and attention. Whether it’s finding simple tips for stress relief or creating new goals for personal growth, every effort counts.
Self-care doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be intentional. In 2025, I’m showing up for myself in ways that honor my neurodivergence, my identity as a Black mom, and my commitment to thriving—not just surviving. If you’re on a similar journey, remember: you are worthy of the care you give others.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation of showing up as your best self for your family and community. Let’s make 2025 the year of prioritizing ourselves with love and intention.
Drop a comment and share which habit you’re starting with. You’ve got this!
Leave a Reply