Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book in 1992 about the five love languages. In it he outlines the ways that romantic partners express and experience love. They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. And I hate to spoil it for anybody who hasn’t read it yet, but it basically says that the way someone gives love is the way they want to receive it. If you pay attention enough to the things people say and observe what they do you can figure it out. Even though Chapman didn’t address it, what do you do if your own love language is self-care?
Can self-care be a love language?
Self-care is the way we express love to ourselves. An important thing we often forget is that our relationship with ourselves is the most significant of all.
How do you treat yourself according to your love language?
Even though I am married, and we plan on celebrating Valentine’s Day together. It’s important to me that I always make time for myself as well. That I remember all of the things that make me happy, and to establish a self-care routine. So here are some things you can do for yourself this valentine’s day according to your love language.
Physical Touch
If your self-love language is physical touch, taking care of your body makes you feel better. You love being touched and that doesn’t have to be in a sexual way. It can be simple activities like back rubs and holding hands. Here are some ideas for you:
- get a massage
- add a face mask to your skincare routine
- give yourself a scalp massage
- “explore and nurture” your physical body
- try a new physical activity
Words of Affirmation
If your primary love language is words of affirmation. You love uplifting yourself (and others) through positive words and positive self-talk. They are a great way to help you feel appreciated and loved. I often have to remind myself that kind words aren’t just for other people. How you speak to yourself is an important self-care practice. These are a few different ways you can treat yourself:
- journaling
- write yourself love notes and place them around your living space
- recite positive affirmations
- listen to a self-care podcast
- write a love letter to yourself
Acts of Service
If your preferred language is acts of service, you like being shown that you matter. Have you ever heard the phrase “I can show you better than I can tell you?” You enjoy things that make your life easier. And if you are anything like me, we tend to put other people’s needs before our own. It’s the little things that matter, like not having to ask someone to do something.
- Try meal prepping
- Make yourself a nice meal
- declutter your place
Receiving gifts
If your top love languages are receiving gifts, you enjoy treating yourself. It doesn’t have to be huge it can be a little gift. You enjoy thoughtful gifts, because the gift serves as a reminder that you are loved.
- send yourself some flowers
- take yourself out on a date night
- treat yourself to a spa day
- get yourself a personalized gift
- invest in your future self
Quality Time
If your preferred way of expressing love is quality time, then you like undivided attention. It’s about being present and paying attention to the things that bring you joy. Alone time is an important part of your mental health. So, add these to your to-do list.
- take a warm bath
- watch a good movie
- do some guided meditation
Is love language important?
Knowing your own love language is important because it will help you to communicate your wants and needs with your partner and other important relationships. It’s not just about romantic relationships. And it helps serve as a blueprint to how we are giving and receiving love. But most importantly it will help you to understand yourself. I talk about how communication is important in relationships, but communication is nothing without comprehension.
Whether your celebrating Valentine’s Day with your friends, with a partner, or by yourself. You can use any of these ideas to add a little something to your own self-care routine.
[…] you read my post on ways to treat yourself when your love language is self-care. Then you already know that people whose love language is self-care enjoy being touched and taking […]