Co-sleeping with infants is a controversial subject. But honestly, everything in parenting is controversial. As soon as people found out we were pregnant all of the advice started, solicited and unsolicited. I know you are probably reading this thinking these people are crazy for having a family bed but hear me out! It’s not all that bad. We absolutely love it, and wouldn’t change a thing.
Now let me start this entire thing off by saying. There was a time when I couldn’t even fathom having the kids in the same room as us, let alone bed. As a matter of fact, as soon as I found out we were pregnant I immediately started putting our nursery together. So I most definitely had planned on putting the baby in his or her crib at night. And even when we started co-sleeping I wasn’t expecting it to last for an extended period of time. Maybe a few months max. Now it’s been 4 years and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have them in the bed with us.
Please remember if you are going to be co-sleeping make sure it’s a safe sleeping environment.
Before I even go into the reasons why we made this decision, let me begin by saying we didn’t make this decision on a whim. We read all of the guidelines and recommendations by the AAP. We talked to our healthcare provider and really discussed it.
Benefits of co-sleeping:
Co-sleeping increases breastfeeding: Breastfeeding has always been extremely hard for me. I finally got to a place where I was comfortable talking about my postpartum depression. One of the biggest things that contributed to my postpartum struggles was how horrible I felt for not being able to breastfeed. So having my baby so close to me and being able to “try” to breastfeed was so beneficial.
Parents and babies sleep better: When we had our first son our master bedroom was on the first floor and the nursery was on the second floor. With our second son, the bedrooms were on opposite ends of the house. This was problematic for me because my husband is a pilot and being alone with a baby always had me on high alert. I would barely sleep thinking about the baby being so far away from me.
Co-sleeping promotes family closeness: As a said before my husband is a pilot so he would go days without seeing us. When he would get home he wanted his family near him. I know it sounds sappy, but we genuinely miss each other when we are apart. It’s like he has to make up for the lost time.
Having a family bed allows working parents to connect with their children (this was a big plus for us) I know there will come a time when the boys will need to be by themselves. However for now we cherish these little moments we get with them. We honestly do feel like we bond and are able to communicate with them so much now.
Of course, we also thought about the cons of co-sleeping
I know I said my husband travels a lot for work so he goes days at a time without seeing us. And when he gets home not only does he miss the kids but we also miss each other (wink, wink.) So there is a level of intimacy that is lost when you have your kids in the room with you. Co-sleeping has been a gift and a curse for us.
Something else that’s come up is how small our bed seems now. King-sized beds don’t seem so big when you have more than 2 people in the bed. We often look at each other and wonder when we are kicking them out.
In the end, we wouldn’t change a thing. It’s been an awesome experience and it’s worked for our family.
[…] But he’s my sweet baby boy so I sucked it up. Courtney is at work so it’s just us in the bed. Co-sleeping is for the birds, but I will save my opinions on that for another post. Is this the pre-terrible […]