So, your friend just had a baby and you can’t wait to get to her side! But before you rush out the door let me give you a couple of things to think about when going to visit someone with a newborn baby.
When I was pregnant with our first son, my husband and I knew that after we had him we would want to spend our first few nights at home bonding as a family. That meant no visitors until we were ready. Now you know I ruffled a few feathers. However my job as a wife and mother is to do what’s best for my family, not to make sure I don’t hurt everyone else’s feelings.
So as we were preparing for the birth of our second son the same rules applied. I made sure I let people know that when we were ready for visitors we would let everyone know. However something that most people forget is that even though everyone is offering to come “help” or to visit after the baby is born. They need to remember to ask exactly how they can be helpful. Because one thing I have found is that people want to help you, but it’s never what you had in mind. One important thing I always wanted people to know is that this time is for my family. I don’t need help caring for my newborn. What I need help with is all of the other stuff we wouldn’t be able to do while WE were caring for our newborn.
So I made a list of some of the things that might be helpful to your friend who just had a newborn baby.
- Listen to her
- Bring Food
- Assist with other children
- Give her space
- Do the laundry
- Keep your opinions to yourself
- Be supportive
- Don’t come over uninvited
- Run errands (walking dog, grocery shopping)
Does that mean that you can’t help out with the new baby? Of course not! But don’t assume that she needs your help. The most important thing to remember is listen to what’s being asked of you.