With everything going on there are a bunch of women who have reluctantly become stay at home moms. However, this has been my life for the past 3 ½ years. This is the life I chose for myself. I am extremely happy (and blessed) to be able to be home with both of our children. Even though I know this isn’t for everyone. But, being a flight attendant married to a pilot I knew once we started having kids that if I wanted to keep working that meant our kids would end up being raised by someone else half of the time. That’s not something either one of us wanted so we were on the same page with my becoming a stay at home mom.
Factors To Consider
Now let me be really clear. When my husband and I were just friends he would always tell me that he would always have a two-income household. LOL! Oh how quickly things change. Numerous discussions were had though before we decided to get married. So let me tell you about a few factors to consider when thinking about becoming a stay at home mom.
Can you afford it? This is probably the most important thing that couples have to consider. However, daycare is not cheap! We sat back and calculated how much we would have to spend on daycare fees, it was almost the cost of a mortgage! My entire check would be used on childcare fees and to us that wasn’t really worth it.
Will there be resentment? Something that ended up coming up later that we hadn’t even prepared for was “stay at home mom resentment.” My husband still had a life. He still got to socialize with adults every day. While I spent most of my days with kids. The most interaction I got was through social media. I ended up living vicariously through him. Then there were times I would get depressed because I felt that I lost a piece of myself. I finally had to start taking mental health days and focusing on my self-care as well.
Can you go back later? People often ask me if I miss flying. I’m not going to lie sometimes I do. Then I hear some kind of horror story about some passengers going off on a flight attendant. Social media was a thing when I was flying however in recent years it has gotten really out of control. But I know women who took time off from their careers and when they finally went back it was really hard to adjust. The world doesn’t stop just because we decide to take a hiatus. And even though it’s not impossible to go back to work it might be extremely hard. You can’t just pick up where you left off.
How it will affect your children? I thought about this a lot. My mom was always around when we were younger. I wanted to always be present for my kids. With my husband being gone for days at a time it was really a no brainer for me. There are times he feels sad because he has missed a milestone or a birthday. But we always make sure to make it special when he comes home. Hopefully, they will remember how hard he worked to take care of us.
When we found out our son is autistic I was happy I was able to be home with him. It was something else we hadn’t really planned for. It wasn’t a decision we went into lightly. However, it further let me know that I made the right decision being a stay at home mom. Being a flight attendant was the best job I ever had, but my priorities are different now. I know this isn’t even an option for some women so I know how lucky I am.
So much for Courtney’s two income household…..…
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