Being married has been amazing. I guess it helps that I married my best friend. I know that sounds cliché, but its the truth. Being around each other is fun for us. Most of the time we are laughing. We knew after we had Santana things would be different. We just didn’t know how much different, but marriage after baby has been work.
Nurture Your Relationship
Don’t put your marriage on the back burner. You have to make sure to make it a priority like anything else. Before Santana was born I used to bite Courtney’s cheeks all the time. He used to always pull away and tell me it was gross, but I was being affectionate. Now I spend all of my days kissing Santana’s huge cheeks! (I mean have you seen them?) Courtney politely points out how I don’t bite his cheeks anymore. In the process of loving my baby boy, I had been neglecting my husband. This simple gesture actually meant something to him. And likewise, throughout the day he just randomly kisses me. Sometimes I ask “what’s that for?” his response is always “just because.”
Talk, Talk, Talk
I swear this is so important. There are going to be times (a lot of times!) when you get on each other’s nerves. After I had the baby my hormones and emotions were all over the place. Courtney didn’t really want to say anything to me for fear of starting an argument. I have found that tackling the problem early on keeps something small from turning into something big. He completely understood that I was going through something, he just wanted to know what to do to help.
Yup, I’m going there. Granted there is the time period after having a baby where you CAN’T have sex. However, marriage after baby doesn’t have to be sexless. Get your baby into a sleep routine and schedule it in if you have to. I know that sounds bad, scheduling sex. But having time for ourselves, by ourselves is really not a luxury we have anymore. Intimacy and romance are really vital at any stage in marriage.
Have couple time
As parents, our first priority is our children. At the end of the day, you have to make sure to remember that you aren’t just parents you’re a couple. This has probably been the hardest thing for Courtney and me so far. We don’t have family close by to watch Santana for us. Date nights usually consist of us putting our son to bed then we unwind with wine and Netflix. Just remember to take time out to connect with your spouse.
Marriage after baby
Isn’t always going to be easy. Just remember that you are in it together, and lean on each other for support. Find what works for your marriage, and Sanity! How has life been for your relationship after having a baby? In what ways are you finding to stay close?
Until Next Time!